i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
smell my finger.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
