I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
