Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
