what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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