We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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