"it" just moved
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
