im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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