Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
