That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
