Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
