Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
