and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
