If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
