I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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