break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
