your room smells of hookers.
And success
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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