why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
