1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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