: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
