I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
