At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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