no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
