Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
