then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
