last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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