Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Your dad touched me again.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
