I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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