I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
