so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this boner is exhausting
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
