I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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