She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize