I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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