that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just pee around me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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