what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
