hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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