Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
