he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
