pedialite and red bull = repair kit
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
