The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The beers last night were like the tears from god
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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