no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
