the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
