I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
