ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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