I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
