I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
