quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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