i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
