u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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