hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
