I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
